1 Peter 5:7 – Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.
I was really worried when I got out of the VA hospital last March. Upon returning to Nicaragua, immediately, I fell into the deepest darkest depression of my life, mixed with extreme anxiety attacks. Exhaustion, not feeling well, 2 months of pain, surrounded by combat vets and death all contributed, I am sure, or at least weakened me. I was constantly ministering there too, which takes its toll on you as well. Plus coming back to Nicaragua with crushing heat, mixed with being immersed in abject hunger, poverty and disease, religious persecution, political pressures on our organization, loss of many donors, loss of friends, my board, attacks from stateside churches and pastors relentlessly pounded me.
Psalms 23:4 – Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
I tried everything. More Bible, more prayer, more mindfulness, more effort, more time with brothers, pastors…
Nothing helped me. Literally faking every step, smile and laugh. It was excruciating. No sleep. No appetite. Anxiety was massive on top of the depression. Anxiety attacks at least once a day. A couple of times at night. As soon as I drifted off to sleep it was like being a coach on a football team win where the players pour the ice water over your head.
Proverbs 12:25 – Heaviness in the heart of man maketh it stoop: but a good word maketh it glad.
Then I remembered Pastor Gordon Wilmot telling me to tell the depression and anxiety to ‘shut up and get out’ in the name of Jesus. In a loud voice. Just like Jesus did when He rebuked Peter’s mother in law’s fever.
Luke 4:39 And he stood over her, and rebuked the fever; and it left her: and immediately she arose and ministered unto them.
I spoke to the vudu spell and commanded it to leave and it worked! A little while anyways, but the depression and anxiety came back with a fury. So, basically, I was still miserable. I still loved the ministry, my wife and kids, the kids here, my staff, the adults in my Bible study, Jesus, The Word, Prayer, working out etc. but it was a challenge even to get up in the morning, and absolutely nothing was fun. My feelings were numb.
Psalms 34:18 – The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.
Then out of the blue I remembered bragging about how I wasn’t receptive to vudu curses or Santeria. About once a year I see evidence of vudu or witchcraft around the house, but was never affected. People come up to me and say that someone cursed me and it didn’t work. I ate cursed food, or supernaturally refused to eat it. One even gave me love potion and I drank two cups, it was delicious. Love potion has disgusting ingredients. Yuk! But the girl for whom the ‘love potion’ was for, looked just as ugly as always.
Vudu specifically came to my mind again and again. Like the Holy Spirit was gently pushing me. I also distinctly felt that vudu spells and witchcraft curses have a lot to do with my wife’s poor health, ministry/political problems and my relationship with my kids. A lady came up to me right before I went to the hospital and told me to agree with her in prayer in ‘asking the Lord to make my family and home invisible from all enemies’, physical and spiritual.
John 10:10 – The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.
I was desperate. So I said ‘all vudu spells cast on me, I command you to shut up and get out in the name of Jesus!’ And poof. Depression and Anxiety? Gone! 2 months ago! If I feel it starting to come on again I just tell it to shut up and get out in the name of Jesus and it’s gone, again. Praise God. I am not asking you to believe me or the theology behind it. I really can’t explain it. Just wanted to share it as a testimony of the power of prayer, concerned pastors’ solicited advice and the Strength of Jesus the Messiah! Maybe it will help someone.
Revelation 21:4 – And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.