Part 5 of the 10 commandments, “honour thy Father and Mother”
5th commandment, honour thy Father and Mother.
Ephesians 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.
There are billions of great children and even greater parents out there. This missive isn’t for you. There are millions of functional families. If you have one, I am thrilled for you, this is not for you either. This is for the rest of us
The biggest problem in the world today is lack of respect for authorities. This lack of respect for authorities stems from not honoring your real birth parents. Honoring some old person because they rub your belly isn’t the same. Even if they are your ‘safe place’
When people say, ‘she’s like the mother or father to me that I never had’ it’s dishonoring your parents. It’s a slap to the face of your real parents that bore you, suffered for you, did without for you and took care of you from birth. There is no replacement for that. God honors that, so should you. Sure, your parents might have made mistakes, come home from work in bad moods, stressed over money, maybe had to cancel a vacation because of layoffs or whatever, but please don’t compare your parents to anyone else. Their 20 years of suffering for you should mean a lot more than some stranger who has only known you for a few years, in the twilight of their lives. Usually, they have no skin in the game. They’re just trying to be nice so they can ‘make it into heaven’. They have no stress, no financial worries, don’t have a care in the world. Don’t compare your parents to anyone else please. Don’t compare them to your neighbor’s parents or the perfect parents you see on TV. You are being unfair because you are clueless about what goes on behind closed doors.
Honor your parents in all things. No one will think worse of you. That is not in style for many American kids in this day and age though. Kids love to complain about their parents. I am always amazed by the kids down here. I think this is the reason I love Nicaragua so much. Their parents are often addicted, drunks, unemployed, impoverished, criminal, sexually promiscuous and often perverted, yet these kids fiercely LOVE and respect their parents, until death. It’s really a phenomenon to me. Most American kids move out of the house in their teens. After that, if the parents get a snarly two worded text once a week from their kids, it’s a miracle. Parents in America, for the most part, even hesitate to reach out to their own adult kids in fear of contention.
How people treat their real parents says a lot about their character and the condition of their heart and soul. I’ve traveled a lot. America (as of lately) is, in my opinion, the lowest ranking country in regards to Parent’s/adult children’s relationships, and it shows! Again in my opinion only, America’s soul (heart) position is at an all time low.
Anger and stress are the number one killers of Americans. Anger leads to murder, abortion, addictions and suicide. Stress causes cancer, ulcers, cardio vascular problems and sugar diabetes. That’s why Ephesians says honoring your mom and dad will add years to your life. You have a healthy mental and physical base for your body, and a great point of reference for your soul.
Eph 1:3 which is the first commandment with promise; that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.
Although all authorities (including parents) most of the time have done something to cause lack of respect, we are to respect and blindly obey all authorities (including our parents) as long as it’s legal. Respect however is a 2 edged sword.
Ephesians 1:3 says ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Irregardless of if your parents provoked you to wrath doesn’t give you leeway to dishonor them. People say, oh Pastor Dean, pray for me. I want a baby! I always say, be careful what you wish for. Pain doesn’t end at childbirth. Having babies is extremely painful for both mom and dad for the rest of their lives. Even though I don’t know many parents that intentionally provoke our children to wrath, most of us do. Preachers kids and missionary kids are the worst they say. I believe it.
American babies cost a couple hundred thousand dollars to raise, and also burn through around 18 of the best years of your life. The ROI is horrible. You usually invest all of that only to be eventually ignored, insulted and rejected afterwards. Or worse yet, have your kids be ‘polite’ with you, knowing that they would much rather be somewhere else. They know they have your heart in their hand and still unintentionally break it.
The 10 commandments are split. The first 5 are about our relationship with God. The last 5 are about our relationship with Man. Honoring mom and dad are #5 (at the halfway mark) because it involves both our relationship with God and with man.
I personally had a very tough time with this commandment. I had a tough childhood, lots of perceived disappointments, betrayals and anger. Mom and dad have both been gone for ages, so it was never possible to make amends. When I got saved, it was tough. Still is kind of. But I choose to forgive, forget, love and honor them in my heart. I don’t talk about them a lot but I intentionally love them and miss them. I know they did the best they could with what they had to work with. And I was no peach either.
The beauty of the 10 commandments, as in the rest of ways we can sin, is that God is always ready to forgive us for our sins. The 10 commandments, like the whole Bible, and Christianity, is about restoration. The cross has horizontal and vertical beams. The 5th commandment (honoring thy father and mother) is where the horizontal and vertical beams intersect. Honoring your father and mother is critical both for your relationship with man and with God.
Good thing that God died for us because we can’t fulfill the 10 commandments or any other law. We can’t go a day without sinning, and the wages of sin is death. Try to go one day without sinning. Not honoring your parents is a sin, and you don’t even have to do anything to commit it! We are all sinners and on our way to hell. But not, thanks to Jesus alone! Like the Father waiting for His Prodigal Son in the field, God’s waiting for us to repent and believe.
Jesus forgives us for breaking the 10 commandments, and for any other sin. Whether we sin here or other places. Provoking our kids to wrath is sin. Not honoring our own parents is sin. People who don’t honor their parents usually have kids that don’t honor them. Funny how sin works like that. God is good, His mercies are forever.
Isaiah 1:18 Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.