Proverbs 18:21 — “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.”
For me, the biggest problem with words is that they don’t have a fishing line and reel attached to them. I hurl out a thousand words, never thinking about the consequences — and later I wish I could reel most of them back in. I’ve got to learn to zip it up sometimes. Pray for me on that.
The tongue can throw out words that seem meaningless or fickle in the moment, yet those same words can wound a soul. Scripture does not treat our speech as something small. James compares the tongue to a little fire capable of setting something enormous ablaze.
James 3:5–8 — “Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth! … But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.”
Words by themselves can be slippery things. The same word can carry different meanings depending on language, culture, context, and — most importantly — the spirit behind it. Something can sound religious and still damage a person. Something simple can sound ordinary and still carry grace.
Words are invisible thought capsules that we send to one another. You cannot hold a word in your hand, but a single sentence can lift someone up or crush them. What we say shapes us because we hear our own words too. It shapes relationships, families, workplaces, and souls.
I believe in positive confession — not as a replacement for prayer, but as a way of speaking truth, encouragement, and hope. If you make honesty a habit, you begin believing what you say because you know your own words can be trusted. Encouraging words can strengthen you and the people around you. They can help you work harder, make wiser decisions, and keep going when life is difficult.
Most of my days are spent encouraging people with words. The poor kids we work with need positivity, not another put-down. They can be mouthy, provocative, and vulgar. A lot of adults respond by yelling. I try not to. Usually. Every now and then I slip.
People sometimes tell me, “You don’t preach Jesus enough.” There is an old saying often attributed to St. Francis of Assisi: “Preach the Gospel at all times; when necessary, use words.” The point is worth considering. People hear plenty about Jesus. The tragedy is when they cannot see anything of Jesus in the people who claim to follow Him.
I never met anyone who got saved because someone argued with them or yelled at them. I tried that too. It doesn’t work.
Although I have a daily home church at the ministry, most of my ministry is done by speaking to people in a positive, uplifting way — by being light. Even when I don’t preach to someone, sometimes they ask me if I am a Christian. I say yes, and they say, “I thought so.”
Daily I have drunks and addicts come to my house. They come because I don’t yell at them — and because they know I love them. I don’t give them happy, glib words. But I don’t preach at them either. I love them and encourage them. If we didn’t have a children’s ministry here, I’d probably have 50 people off the street living with me — if Winnie allowed it.
I serve a God who restores broken lives — a God who welcomes people society has thrown away, helps drunks and addicts get clean, gives sober drunks and addicts new beginnings, and lets forgotten people know they are still worth celebrating.
Defeat, fear, and criticism can shipwreck your outlook and wound the people who keep hearing it. Faith, hope, and truth can redirect a life, even when your feelings are screaming something different. Pause before speaking. One second of restraint can save days of regret.
Not only am I studying Chinese, I still study Spanish every day. I never stopped. Learning language teaches me not only what to say, but how to say it — and what not to say. Hint: never try to translate American expressions or jokes word-for-word into another language. It usually doesn’t work.
Proverbs 13:3 — “Those who guard their lips preserve their lives, but those who speak rashly will come to ruin.”
Every day, our mouths offer a choice. Are we dispensing medicine or poison?
Poison: Gossip, harsh judgments, sarcastic jabs, and angry retorts can leave scars that take years — sometimes a lifetime — to heal.
Medicine: Words of grace, gentle correction, honest encouragement, and truth spoken in love can help heal broken places in the people around us.
When you have to correct someone or confront a hard situation, do it with gentleness. Second Timothy 2:24–25 reminds us that the servant of the Lord should not be quarrelsome, but patient and gentle when correcting others. Kindness is never weakness. It is controlled power.
How do we live this out starting right now? Apply these three simple rules for the rest of your day:
1. Pause before you reply. Count to three before answering a tense text or frustrating comment.
2. Refuse negative identity. Stop speaking things over yourself like, “I’m an idiot,” or “I’ll never change.” Speak truth instead.
3. Offer one unexpected encouragement. Find someone today and give them one specific, genuine word that builds them up.
Your tongue is a small instrument with eternal impact. Let us choose to use our words to build bridges, not walls.
Greg and Cathe Laurie taught me a simple way to remember this. Before you talk, THINK.
T — Is it True?
H — Is it Honest?
I — Is it Intelligent?
N — Is it Necessary?
K — Is it Kind?
I need that reminder as much as anyone. Maybe you do too. Pray that God helps us use our words to speak truth without cruelty, correction without condemnation, and hope into people who may not hear much hope anywhere else.